another anniversary... where's my cake?

Today is my 4-year anniversary of living in downtown LA. I drove in on September 19th, 2008 and I haven't OD'd on this place yet. This city and everything in it is an anomaly. Allow me to explain.

My first time in LA traffic. Evidently a moment I felt was worth capturing but not focusing on.

I've lived in three different apartments with five different people in three different zip codes. I only speak to one of those roommates now and I continuously enter the wrong zip code when I buy things online.

All of those apartments had pools, of which in the entire time I've been here, I only went in 6 times. At one apartment, I had to park around the corner and across the street, in the underground garage of an office building. I paid $200 for this privilege. In two of the three apartments, I shared a tandem parking spot, which wasn't half the price, but required double the amount of prep time in the morning.

600 square feet is too small for two people.

Elevator speed is a significant measure of quality of life. I went from glacial, to supersonic, to what I can only describe as "squeakiocre" (squeaky + mediocre). I went from having a washing machine in my apartment to not having one, something I do not recommend. Carpet staples always have a way of finding my bare feet; also, shag carpet does not wear well. I'm afraid I will accidently throw something of value (or myself) down trash chutes.

I had a loud neighbor that would leave his Playstation on pause overnight, but with the volume turned all the way up so just the dingly-jingle would play over and over. I had a front-row seat into the office of Ponytail Man, a bald-on-top ponytail-wearing executive who I invented endless stories about. There was a tiny barking dog barking into my ear from behind the wall next door. I'm pretty sure that one neighbor was directing adult films from his apartment ("Action!").

I watched Batman: The Dark Night Rises being filmed from the roof of my apartment. Batman's stunt double rode his Batcycle and flew his Batpod past my home. I made friends with a lighting crew guy who told me what they were shooting next, and when. I saw countless Cadillac and Lexus commercials cruise down the street in front of the building, thereby closing the street and causing chaotic, ironic traffic. Remember the AT&T commercial where everyone was driving bumper cars in the street? I was very confused to find that happening while I walked to the corner store.

My last day at FIDM. I look... tired.

I nearly knocked over Elle magazine creative director Joe Zee while coming out the door of an office building. I saw Tim Gunn wearing "dad jeans" in front of Ralphs. I often share an elevator with Andre from Project Runway.

There's a Banksy in the parking lot I park in for work. Thriller was filmed up the street from my office. So You Think You Can Dance holds auditions at the theatre next door (Kat Deeley is incredibly tall) and I once saw Howard Stern and the America's Got Talent judges coming out of star trailers. I've witnessed everything from my office window; from Carl's Jr. hamburger commercials to rap videos filmed in the parking lot behind my building. I've also seen a police chase end mere floors below my office, with guns drawn on a stolen car suspect.

When the Lakers won the World Series (I kid!) the streets were backed up until nearly 4 AM. People honked their horns constantly the entire time. I've been to [outside of] the Emmys, the Oscars, and [inside of] the Grammys. I was a card-carrying member of the LA Zoo and Disneyland, two places which are have unfortunately become overrun by people.

As a pedestrian, it never feels good to get illuminated by a police helicopter's spotlight, no matter how innocent you are. I've spent what feels like hours waiting for crosswalks, as well as waiting for people to finish crossing. I know where you can't turn left from 4-7 PM, but sometimes have to do it anyways. I've parked in the trickiest of spots and also refused to go somewhere because there was no parking. I've only jaywalked a handful of times, but it has only been in ties of utmost importance: one time it was because I had to get a package notarized before the notary/accountant/travel agent (he's a renaissance man) closed.

I've walked up and down this city and I know the quickest way to get anywhere. I've seen pigeons dining on other pigeons, and bums doing things I wish I could forget. Despite everything, people who come to LA for just work or sporting events can never really know that the city they visit for a short time is truly a gem of a place to live.

One down, 2 million to go.